


Of Shuffling Papers and Sorting Feelings

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [12]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 13:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3449615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn puts her organizational skills to use.  Cullen tries to sort out his feelings for the Inquisitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Shuffling Papers and Sorting Feelings

Evelyn was tearing through the papers in his office like a woman possessed. Cullen had never met anyone with such a compulsive need for order. He found himself rearranging items in her room or putting books on his shelves out of place just to see how long it took her to notice. It was hilarious how her eyes would dart around when something had been changed - looking for what “wasn’t right” as she put it. Some part of him recognized it was infantile to tease her that way, but the way her shoulders would relax and her lips part in a sigh of relief when she had “fixed” things amused him. She was maddeningly neurotic but incredibly adorable.

“Do you _ever_ throw anything away?” she said with exasperation as she held up yellowed pieces of parchment.

A grin formed on Cullen’s lips, “Not if I can avoid it. You never know when you might need to refer to something.”

“But you can’t find _anything_ in this mess.” she argued.

“ _You_ can’t, but _I_ can. Or at least I could until you started moving things around...” he retorted knowing it would only rile her more. Sometimes it was fun to poke a hornet’s nest.

Evelyn looked up at the ceiling and muttered something to the sky. Given the lack of fireballs or lightning bolts raining down on him, Cullen assumed it was a prayer for patience rather than a spell. She returned to sifting through the reams of reports that now covered his office floor. Neat little piles categorized by subject and author then further subdivided by date laid surrounding Evelyn like ripples on a pond. She would not be deterred. If he wouldn’t let her pitch it, she would at least get it contained.

She stopped her sorting and walked over to Cullen skillfully avoiding disturbing her paper piles. “What are these?” she asked with a tinge of concern while handing the slips of paper to him. He took them from her and glanced over them. “They’re from Cole. I’ve spoken to him asking that he stop trying to “help” as he calls it, but it’s no use.”

Evelyn took the papers back from Cullen. They all carried a similar theme. Cole was trying to untangle the knots of pain that had been tied at the Fereldan Circle. Some were easy for Evelyn to understand. _Uldred marked you but didn’t make you. You stayed you._ Others referenced things that she didn’t know about, but if her own experiences with Cole’s mind reading abilities were any indicator Cullen knew exactly what they meant. _The center never changed kept safe like a coin in your pocket._ Evelyn felt odd perusing the strange sentences - like she was invading Cullen’s privacy. She stopped reading and placed the lot in their own pile.

“I’m nearly finished. I just need to slip each of these piles into its own envelope and then file them in the cabinet.” She held up envelopes already labeled in her meticulous writing.

“Thank you, Evelyn. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He really did appreciate that she was trying to help him manage his duties, and he loved having her around even if she did grouse about his disorganization while she worked.

She made quick work of filing the papers, and let out a satisfied sigh. Her face beaming, she made her way to Cullen’s desk and balanced herself on the edge. “So, Commander, I’ve finished my work. How is yours progressing?”

“It’s never ending. I wonder at times why I bother.” His voice was edged with fatigue. As he looked at Evelyn flush with her victory over his old reports and papers, Cullen’s disposition lightened. It was impossible to be in a bad mood when Evelyn was smiling at you. Reaching up, he pulled her into his lap and began kissing the spot on her neck that always elicited breathy gasps.

The next few minutes were a blur of hard kisses and hands trailing over each others’ bodies. Just as Cullen was beginning to unfasten Evelyn’s shirt, someone knocked on the door. Evelyn popped out of his lap and straightened her outfit while Cullen went to answer the door mumbling a string of curses under his breath. The interloper was one of Josephine’s couriers who delivered missive outlining alliances in Fereldan that Cullen needed to cement in person. Reading the directive, Cullen began toying with the idea of asking Evelyn to accompany him. 

Although they were no longer keeping their relationship secret, neither cared to flaunt it. Their desire for propriety and privacy created an impasse when it came to physical intimacy. Cullen wanted to ask Evelyn to spend the night with him, but he didn’t want to pressure her or generate more rumors. For her part, Evelyn wanted more but didn’t want to seem too forward. She also sensed that Cullen had considerably more experience, and she was scared that she wouldn’t measure up to the women that had preceded her. So much like the beginning of their relationship, this phase had become filled with flushed faces, stammered sentences, and awkward retreats.

“It’s getting late... I... uh... better get going....” she hesitated.

“You are ... um.... always welcome to stay, but if you have others matters to attend...” he answered trying not to sound desperate. _Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go._

“See you later then?” she asked while brushing a kiss on his cheek. _Ask me to stay, please._

“I would like that.” he replied. _Kiss her. Tell her to stay. Rumors be damned._

For a few heartbeats, Evelyn stood still, biting her lip and looking perplexed before she turned and made her way to the main keep.  
His heart sunk as she left. It vexed him how unsure he was with her. He wasn’t the virginal young templar he had been ten years ago when Solona Amell’s advances sent him running. He had been with several women during his time in Kirkwall. Most were one night stands born of alcohol and desire, but a few relationships lasted longer. Those trysts were more physical than emotional for him, and they always ended poorly. He had not been in a good place then. 

As he took off his armor and polished the pieces, Cullen tried to reconcile how Evelyn both delighted and confounded him. He was able to share things with her that he had never been able to tell anyone else, but he also found himself tripping over words and being uncharacteristically passive around her. Her presence made him feel stronger and lighter but also left him flustered and bewildered. Finishing with the last piece of armor, Cullen decided to walk the battlements in hopes of settling his mind enough for sleep.

He was pondering why everything was so different, difficult with her as he looked out at the mountains when a voice behind him answered the question in his head. 

“Maddening, mesmerizing, magnificent... it is different because you love her.”

Cullen startled at the voice and its message. “Cole, what are you doing out here?” Although Evelyn was comfortable with the spirit, Cullen had enough templar prejudices left to be wary of him and his intentions.

“I felt your hurt. I came to help.” Cole answered while rocking back and forth - his movements not quite human.

“Thank you, but I think this is something I have to figure out for myself.”

“What is there to figure out?” Cole queried. “You love her, want her. Why don’t you tell her, ask her?”

Cullen chuckled at the suggestion. “It isn’t that simple.”

“Isn’t it?” Cole stopped rocking and looked back at the keep. “The lake, the coin... it is a good idea. If you can’t tell her, show her. It will make the telling easier later.”

Cullen turned to ask Cole what exactly he meant, but the young man had already disappeared. Shaking off a shiver caused by the cold air and strange conversation, Cullen walked back to his room making plans to include his hometown of Honnleath on the itinerary for his visit to Fereldan and to ask Evelyn if she would join him. Maybe it was that simple after all..

**Author's Note:**

> I love my little spirit buddy/cupid, Cole.
> 
> Also shout out to all the "pitchers" out there. Few things make me happier than cleaning out a closet or shredding old documents.


End file.
